This is the 2nd chapter of the first episode of 2x2 Shinobuden. I should make it clear that all the episodes are divided into two distinct, self contained stories.

The Master Appears begins with Kaede coming home from school when suddenly she is surprised by Shinobu hanging from a tree. Shinobu thanks Kaede for helping her with her exam, saying that Kaede's panties got her high marks from her perverted master.

Suddenly Shinobu is distracted by a nearby cat. Which marks the second time she has been distracted by a kitty. I bet that it will becoming a running joke. Once she regains her concentration, Shinobu invites Kaede to her ninja village, and before she can refuse, they're off!

I have to say that at this point I really am intrigued to see what kind of environment breeds numb-skulls like Shinobu and perverted, cigarette-smoking "Hawks" like Onsakumaru.

informs How do they travel from the city streets to the ninja village? They take a giant kite, of course. ShinobuKaede not to let go because if she does there is a "100% chance of dying." Thanks, real comforting.

Eventually they land near a river and are out of breath. We quickly learn through flashback that their kite trip has included almost getting killed by highway traffic and landing in a monkey zoo exhibit. The monkeys are small, cute and also vicious as hell. Shinobu brushes the experience off by saying, "You can't buy good memories with money." Damn strait, Shinobu, damn straight.

Kaede is still upset, and Shinobu does her best to calm her down, but to no avail. Finally Onsokumaru arrives on the scene.

Onsokumaru demands a training match between himself and Shinobu. Shinobu apologizes saying that she is entertaining Keade and that training will have to wait. Onsokumaru doesn't seem to care, he demands a battle and refuses to get out of their way until he gets it.

Shinobu hits him in the balls.

I know what you are thinking: Onsokumaru has balls!? Yep, apparently he does. In fact, I have a feeling he is just one big testicle.

After a few seconds of awkward pain Onsokumaru retaliates by-- and this really does not make sense-- showing Shinobu a flip book of "someone shitting backwards." What the hell does that mean? Anyways, she concedes defeat to Onsokumaru and before you know it, they are at the front gates of the Ninja village.

After an uncharacteristically unfunny exchange with the ninja doorman, they're inside the walls of the village. And heading to Shinobu's master's quarters.

Once inside, the master appears. He is another "hawk," that is, another living yellow ball like Onsokumaru except he has a beard.

He enters the scene sliding down a rainbow, and announcing, "Here comes the heavenly vision of a mischievous angel arriving by sliding down a rainbow! That's right I am ... I am ... The Master!" Uhhhh...thanks.

Actually it turns out not to be "The Master" but it is actually Onsokumaru in a beard. Thank god because I don't think I could have handles there being more than on anamorphic egg yolk in this show.

Of course the only person who realizes that The Master and Onsokumarus are the same person/thing/living testicle is Kaede. She tries to convince Shinobu but can't seem to wake her out of her perpetual state of naiveness.

Suddenly Shinobu remembers that outsiders aren't allowed to leave the village once they've arrived. Kaede gets extremely worried and is surrounded by a bunch of generic ninjas dressed in black. Shinobu pulls a baseball bat out of thin air and says it's time for the "Memories fly away technique." Is she really going to beat her friend over the head with a bat!?

Nope, it's all just a joke. Everyone laughs it off except the still-bearded Onsokumaru who says Keade will have to marry him while doing some creepy things with his fingers. Shinobu decides to protect her friend and bats Onsokumaru through the wall and into a pond.

She hits him so hard he reverts to child-like state and is seen next playing with a toy car with a look on his face that is so perfect that I cannot even begin to imagine how I could describe it in words. Hilarious.

As Kaede and Shinobu watch him play with the car, Kaede notices a wound on Shinobu's arm. Shinobu responds by taking off all her clothes to reveal her other scars. It is nice, thank you very much.

The ep ends with another kite trip back to Kaede's house.

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